Truths of the Heart
by kylie90210
Summary: The trials and tribulations of Stacey's final year of High school... Including her lust for the one guy she can't have...
1. Rainy mornings

Rainy Mornings

Rainy days always make me wistful. They remind me of staying in, romantic movies and popcorn. Unfortunately, today was not a day for staying in, it was a school day, and as per usual, I had overslept. Mum obviously hadn't woken me before leaving for work, and my alarm clock must have blended in with my snores.

A few years ago mum decided to take a short college course in events' management, and she now worked for a small business, mostly organising weddings and other types of celebratory events. Unfortunately, she also worked long hours. With my dad in New York, and mum always working, I quite often felt lonely. My mum was yet to realise she had become what she had despised in my dad before their divorce.

I was never too lonely however, with my best friends around. As a senior at Stoneybrook High, I knew most of my fellow students from my days at Stoneybrook Middle School. A few of my close friends, (including my best friend Claudia and I) had actually been part of a club back in the eighth grade. We shared a common interest in Baby-sitting, and became close friends that year.

Unfortunately, a few of our members moved away, or drifted off to different groups in High school. But Claudia, Mary Anne and I were still close.

As for the others, Jessi Ramsey became quite serious about her dancing at 11, and barely has time for 'outside' friends. I heard she is quite likely to leave SHS for a ballet scholarship.

Mallory Pike remained at boarding school, and comes home for holidays, where she and I catch up. Her family lives in the house behind mine.

Dawn Schaffer lives in California with her dad, step mum, brother and baby sister. She is happiest where it's sunniest.

Kristy Thomas and Abby Stevenson are still friends, but they are friends with totally different people now. They got a lot more serious about their love for sport as we got older, with Kristy playing varsity girls softball, and Abby captain of the girls Soccer team.

Shannon Kilbourne had ended up attending SHS in 9th grade, and is now one of my closest friends.

Tired of reminiscing, I yawned and stretched out on my bed, taking a glance at the clock as I did so. I stopped mid-yawn and realised how late I actually was. I would barely have time to grab something to eat – but I knew I would have to make time for that. That and my insulin shot. I have Diabetes, a disease that restricts what I eat, and requires that I take shots a few times a day. After having it since I was in the 6th grade, I'm now quite used to it, but the thought of it still makes some people wince.

As I showered, I pondered about my outfit for the day… and finally decided on a cute little denim mini, and a pink top with a white jacket. Grabbing a pink satchel bag for my stuff, and some pink shoes, all I had left to do was my hair and make-up. Years ago I had permed my hair constantly, but I had thankfully decided to stop, and added a few blonde highlights to change my look. I quickly put my hair up in a French twist, securing it with a clip. Adding make-up to my face, and an apple and a muesli bar to my bag, I quickly took my shot and ran out the door.

Jumping into the white Jeep my dad bought my for my 16th birthday ('trying to buy my affection' according to mum. 'Guilty for not being there' according to me), I started off to school, detouring past Claud's on the way. Just before I reached her street, my mobile rang. A picture of Claud flashed on my screen.

"I'll be right there!" I answered quickly, hanging up as I pulled into Claud's street. She jumped in when I pulled over, and we tore off toward school.

Over the years Claudia's fashion sense had developed from creative and funky (or so we thought at the time) into quite simple, yet sleek. Today her long hair was crimped and worn out, and she wore a white turtleneck cotton dress, with a black leather plaited belt slung casually around her waist. She wore black knee high boots and HUGE silver hoops to complete the outfit. Kinda made me wish I'd had more time to contemplate my 'cute' outfit.

Pulling up into the parking lot, Claud and I got out and ran up to the front of the school to meet up with our friends. Shannon, Emily Bernstein and Pete Black were standing there with Mary Anne. As I caught sight of the person standing next to her, my body went into overdrive.

My heart rate fastened, my stomach started tingling, and my face felt hot. We came up to them, and I couldn't tear my eyes away from…

Logan Bruno.

Mary Anne's boyfriend.


	2. The perfect couple

The Perfect Couple

I took a few deep breaths and tried to calm my self down subtly, hoping the flush in my face would go away. It slowly receded and Claud and I greeted everyone, as we all started to walk inside.

I couldn't understand why Logan had that affect on me. I'd known him since I was almost 13, and never given him any thought. Any other thought than him being Mary Anne's boyfriend that is. Not to mention the fact that I've dated guys before. A few in fact, and none had that affect on me. I took my mind off Logan, and focused on Shannon, who was walking beside me.

We started discussing some of the plans we had in mind for the upcoming fall dance. We were both on the committee and excited about the dance.

"Have either of you thought about dates?" Claudia interjected into the conversation.

"Not really. Maybe I'll ask Zach Wright… I don't think he is going with anyone" Shannon said slowly. We all started smiling slyly and Shannon started to blush.

"C'mon guys! We're seventeen! It's not hard to admit you like someone or ask them out anymore!" Shannon rebuffed.

I wish it were that easy I thought, looking over at Mary Anne and Logan, who by now were holding hands.

Mary Anne and Logan used to date back in Middle school, but broke up before High school. They only recently got back together, about two months ago, and ever since, I've been driven crazy over the thought. Mary Anne went out with Cary Reitlin for three years before that, and their break up was hard for her, but I never really saw them together to begin with. But I suppose the old saying is 'opposites attract'.

At first I thought Mary Anne was only back with Logan to hurt Cary, or to move on, but Mary Anne is too sensitive a person to do anything like that. And you wouldn't think so by the way she acts with him. Like now for instance, she was looking up into his eyes… I found myself gazing at them too.

_Wait!_ I had to mentally shake myself. _I can't do this!_

Fortunately for me, we all then parted ways. It's a lot easier to conceal your true feelings for someone when you're _not_ around them.

After Homeroom, I headed toward my History class. History had become one of my favourite classes. Not least because of who was also in my class. I saw him as soon as I entered, sitting in a seat toward the back, on the left side. I headed near him and sat a few seats in front of him.

"Hey Stace!" he greeted me, a warm smile on his face.

"Hey!" I answered, turning around to see him. "What have you heard about this new teacher? Some kids in the lunch line yesterday said he has some strange methods." I asked.

"I guess we're about to find out" Logan replied, nodding toward the door. I turned and saw our new teacher, Mr Milligan walking in and placing his things on the desk. Our last History teacher had left on maternity leave, so this was our first lesson with Mr Milligan.

"Good Morning class! I'm your new teacher, seeing as Mrs Horton went on maternity leave last week-" He paused and his eyes scanned the classroom, "but I guess you all already knew that".

I stole a quick glance back at Logan and he gave me a quick smile.

Oh, how I love that smile.

"To get right into the drift of things, I'll be pairing you up, and giving you a 2000 word essay to work on together. The pairing will be random, so there will be no complaints. However, as for your topic, the two of you will choose what you wish to research and write about, and hand in your report, _and _a 10 minute presentation, presented in any way you wish. The only outline I will give you, is the heading of your presentation, which will be…" He turned his back to us to write on the whiteboard -'Two people who changed the world by working together'.

"You have by next lesson to choose your historic couple, and run it by me. Now to pair you off".

Mr Milligan started to pair us off while I sat there hoping I wouldn't get stuck with Alan Gray. Although some people think Alan has matured since his practical joke loving days in the eighth grade, I tend to think he is worse. Alan is now into providing comic relief for his peers, and often makes me the centre off his jokes. I'm quite surprised he had remained quiet this long. I tried to steal a quick glance around to see why Alan was being so quiet when I heard my name being called.

"Anastasia McGill?" Mr Milligan repeated.

"Oh, yes? Sorry… I…" I drifted off when I saw the amused look on Mr Milligan's face.

"That's quite alright Ms McGill. I just hope you don't find your partner as boring as you find me" He added.

"Sir? Would you mind calling me Stacey? No one calls me Anastasia." _No one but Dad when he's angry at me anyway._

"Stacey it is. Stacey you will be paired off with… Mr Logan Bruno".

I think my heart actually stopped for a second there. It at least jumped in my chest.

I finally worked up enough courage to turn around and face Logan, I gave him a weak smile, and he gave me two thumbs up.

Great, I thought. That's the best way to get over someone, having to spend a large amount of time with them working on an intense project. Just great.


	3. A dramatic lunch

A Dramatic Lunch

The rest of the morning passed quickly, and lunch was there before I knew it. I met Claud near the lunch line, and grabbed a salad. To my surprise, Claud grabbed one too. She's not exactly known for eating healthy. She caught my look, and blushed.

"I'm hoping to ask Pete to the dance… I thought it probably couldn't hurt to loose a few" She faced down, as I stared at her.

"You? Please! And Pete? Since when? Why didn't you tell me! I-"

I stopped quickly as I realised I was about to chastise Claud about her little secret, when my little secret was just a tad bit more shocking.

Speaking of my little secret, he sat at our normal table holding Mary Anne's hand. Obviously they couldn't get enough of each other. I diverted my eyes. Along with the golden couple, Emily and Pete were also there. So, to my surprise, was Kristy.

"Hey Kristy! How _are_ you? It's been awhile! How's the team?" I asked her as I sat down and opened my salad. While Kristy and I engaged in our talk about softball (okay, so Kristy talked and I made noises every now and then), I snuck looks around our table. Claud was talking to Pete, a little flirty I noted. Emily was talking to Shannon, who had just joined us, and looked pretty stressed out. Mary Anne and Logan appeared to be fighting.

Hmmm… I wonder what that's about. Mary Anne looked pretty upset, but Logan just looked angry. _Trouble in paradise?_ I thought amused. Wait, that's not fair. Poor Mary Anne. She really does look upset.

My thoughts were interrupted by Kristy, who seemed to come out of her softball lecture in time to notice Alan, across the cafeteria, harassing one of his friends. A bunch of sophomores were bunched around him, laughing. Kristy had elbowed me in the ribs to draw my attention to it.

She then proceeded to mutter about Alan. Hmm… What's up with that? Kristy hadn't been bothered by Alan in years.

My attention was drawn back to Mary Anne and Logan however, when Logan got up abruptly, shoving his chair back.

"Whatever Mary Anne. I've got to get to class."

He caught me watching.

"I'll call you tonight about that assignment, okay Stacey?"

I nodded, and he walked off, leaving a distraught Mary Anne behind him.

"What happened?" I asked, although everyone now seemed to have focused their attention on Mary Anne.

She was teary eyed, but not crying, which surprised me. Mary Anne is not exactly known for holding back the tears.

"Well… He's upset about Cary. He thinks I still have feelings for him, just because he saw us talking. I mean, Cary and I, we were together for years! I can't just cut him out. We're still friends."

She sighed, then looked at me.

"Stace? You're seeing Logan later right? For that assignment? Could you talk to him? He won't listen to me right now. Please?"

Oh no. The last thing I want is to get involved. But how can anyone say no to Mary Anne? She's so sweet and kind.

I knew what I had to do.

"Sure. I'll talk to him"


	4. The call

The Call

That afternoon I quizzed Claud about her interest in Pete as I drove her home.

"Why didn't you tell me? You guys would be so cute together!"

Claud scrunched up her nose.

"I think he's got a thing for Emily."

"No way! He was really into you at lunch! You guys were hitting it off from where I stood. Ask him tomorrow. Otherwise you'll run out of time." I advised her.

She looked at me. "You're one to talk! You don't even have anyone in mind yet, do you? Oh My Lord! You're sick right? This has got to be the longest ever since you've liked a guy! The last one was… Hmm… Mick right? Wow, that was like, seven months ago! Are you keeping something from me?"

I glanced anxiously at Claud out of the corner of my eye. What? Does she know? I hadn't made it obvious had I? If so, Mary Anne probably knew. She's so intuitive.

Claud started laughing. I released the air I had trapped in my lungs. Okay, so she was only joking.

"What about Logan huh?"

"What about him?" I asked defensively. She did know!

Claud shot me a curious look. "That whole lunch thing. I actually feel bad for him. I think Mary Anne still does have a thing for Cary."

"Nu-ah. There's no way she would do that to Logan." I said, pulling up outside Claud's house.

"I dunno Stace. The heart wants what the heart wants." I shot her a look.

"Where did you come up with something like that?" I asked her curiously.

She smiled sheepishly. "TV. Anyway, call me tonight." She added, getting out.

_The heart wants what the heart wants… _I thought about that driving home. For some unknown reason, I had a stupid crush. It had appeared out of nowhere, for someone who I'd known for years, and who was unobtainable. There could be no way for me to forget that.

I spent the rest of the afternoon doing homework. I got so into my next math assignment I forgot Logan was calling me. The phone ringing jolted me out of my concentration.

I glanced at the clock before picking up my extension. 6:45! Wow, Mum was late!

"Hello?" I asked lazily, expecting Claud.

"Stace? It's Logan. I didn't interrupt anything, did I?"

LOGAN! I jolted to attention.

"Oh, hey! No, I thought it was Claud calling."

"Oh." He said.

"Umm, so, how are you?" I asked, remembering what Mary Anne had asked of me. "Heard from Mary Anne?"

He sighed.

"No, I've been out all afternoon, and I haven't called her." He answered.

"You know, she really does care for you."

"Yeah, I know. But she still cares for Cary too. That guy is such a jerk. I don't know why she even went out with him at all." He said angrily.

"You know what they say… opposites attract." I added half heartedly. _I cannot believe we are having this conversation!_

"Maybe that's the problem. Mary Anne and I are so similar!"

"Yes, well. Maybe you need someone more…" I stopped, realising what I was saying.

"Out going? Maybe. But I do care about her. We have a history, although it hasn't exactly been the smoothest." He added honestly.

"Oh, Logan, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. Of course Mary Anne is great for you. She's one of my best friends, and such a sweet person." I added guiltily. I cannot believe I said that! I am such a bad friend.

"Yeah. Anyway, what were you thinking for this assignment? I have no ideas. Maybe we can meet tomorrow, after school?"

"Oh. Um. Actually, tomorrow is a meeting for those organising the dance." I answered, angry at myself for being disappointed. "Maybe you could come around to my place after that?" I added. _For the sake of the assignment, _I reassured myself of my motives.

"Okay. So, what, around 6ish?" He asked.

We agreed to meet at my place, and hung up. I couldn't believe that I had just reassured the guy I liked that his girlfriend was great for him. On the other hand, I could not believe I even had these thoughts about Logan, my friends boyfriend.

An inner battle was raging inside me, and I was afraid which side would win.


	5. A little talk

A Little Talk

The next morning, I was totally excited about my study 'date' with Logan. I knew it was wrong, but I had this new theory: Since nothing was going to happen, I should stop feeling guilty, and before long I would definitely get over it.

So I was looking forward to tonight. However, I still had a whole day ahead of me, and that whole day included talking to Mary Anne about Logan, something I was faced with doing almost as soon as I reached my locker.

"Stace!"

I turned around after putting my books in, and was confronted with a serious looking Mary Anne.

"Oh, hi" I answered, closing the locker door.

"Listen, did Logan call? Did you talk to him?" She looked at me eagerly.

"Umm… Mary Anne, don't you think we're kinda old enough to talk to the guys we like on our own?" I cringed as soon as the words came out of my mouth. I certainly hadn't been mature.

She looked hurt. "I just thought, because you're so experienced with boys and all…"

"Are you kidding me? I may have gone on dates with lots of guys, but you've had longer relationships! I would have thought when you are Cary fought you called him yourself!" I answered.

She pursed her lips. "We didn't really fight much actually. And before that was Logan, and I was so young! I'm sorry, I should have asked myself." She turned away.

I reached out and grabbed her shoulder.

"Wait, I'm sorry. That was harsh of me. I did talk to him. He cares about you," _gulp_, "But is still jealous of you and Cary. I told him you care for him. He's just being a typical guy. Besides, his worries are unfounded, right? There's nothing between you guys anymore, right?" I asked her, hoping not to sound eager.

We started walking, and Mary Anne didn't answer me, although she looked visibly relieved.

"Mary Anne?" I asked, looking at her quizzically.

She sighed. "No. I wouldn't cheat on Logan. But, look. You can't tell anyone, okay? But you have to realise, I still care for Cary a _lot_. I mean, the only reason we broke up was because my dad thought he was a bad influence on me. Don't get me wrong, I really do like Logan, but Cary... is Cary. Anyway, I'm going to really try with Logan, he's a great guy. A good influence." She added, more for her sake then mine, I thought.

We parted ways at my English classroom, but her words were still on my mind. Cary and Mary Anne made no sense. They really hadn't. I think no one was more surprised than Mary Anne when they started together. But I was reminded of what Claud said yesterday, 'The heart wants what the heart wants'. Boy could the heart complicate things.

I joined Claud on the lunch line where she once again grabbed a salad. I raised an eyebrow at her. This was becoming a habit!

As we approached the table, my heart sank. Logan and Mary Anne, as adorable as ever. Logan looked up and smiled at me. I managed a weak smile back.

Why was I begrudging my friend happiness? Was I _that_ selfish?

I hoped not. But I didn't know if I could answer that.


	6. A nice smile

A Nice Smile

The dance meeting that afternoon was a disaster. Half the committee didn't show, and the other members were too busy joking around. Shannon and I, along with this other girl Karlee, made plans amongst ourselves after trying unsuccessfully for half an hour to get attention.

Needless to say, I wasn't in the best mood when I got home.

I'd almost completely forgotten Logan was coming over at all, until around a quarter to six.

_Yikes!_ I hadn't even thought of any ideas for our presentation!

I ran around, getting changed, grabbing something to eat, taking my shot, all the while stretching my brain to try and come up with an idea.

_Romeo and Juliet?_ No, that won't work. _Think Stacey, think!_

It was as I was tying up my hair into a messy bun, I heard the car pull up. Almost breathless from rushing, I ran to the front door, composed myself, and opened it with a huge smile on my face.

Mum smiled back at me.

"Hi Hun! I'm home early! Thought we could order in, catch up a bit."

"Oh, mum. Um, well, a friend is coming over to work on a project." I answered, trying to sound delicate. I hated saying no to mum, especially since I feel I've barely seen her lately.

Mum's face fell a bit, making me feel horrible.

"How about this Saturday?" I asked raising an inquisitive eyebrow.

She scrunched up her nose, and shook her head.

"Can't. I've got a Bat Mitzvah. Oh well, we'll find time." She smiled, giving me a quick hug.

"So, who's coming over? Claud? Shannon? Mary Anne?" She asked as she took off her jacket and placed it in the closet.

Why oh why did she have to say Mary Anne?

I heard another car pull up.

"No… actually, Mary Anne's boyfriend. You remember Logan?"

She smiled. "Oh, the cute blonde with the accent? I thought she was with that other guy… The one that got into some trouble" she added absentmindedly, taking off her shoes.

"She was. Mr Spier didn't think he was so great though. Anyway, now Mary Anne and Logan are back together. Speaking of which…" I made a moving motion with my hands, that mum didn't seem to catch.

I turned around to open the door, Logan was just about to ring the bell, and looked a bit surprised by my quick welcome.

"Wow! Quick service!"

I felt myself blush. BLUSH. How embarrassing!

"Uh, Mum just came home, and I heard you pull up. Come in. Did you want something to eat, drink?" I asked as he took off his jacket.

"No, I'm great. Don't let me stop you though." He said amused.

Mum and Logan greeted each other, and then Logan and I went down to the den.

"So, you and Mary Anne? Back on again?" I asked, trying to seem casual.

"Oh, yeah. We talked. I said I'd try to be more understanding, you know. That loser just works me up sometimes." He added, sounding annoyed, but not quite as angry as I'd thought.

I assumed he was referring to Cary.

"Oh. Well, that's great about you two anyway." I added airily.

"Yeah. So how was the meeting?" He asked as we sat down at the desk downstairs.

I pulled a face, and explained to him how awful it was, and we laughed.

"You really go to a lot of work for that, hey? Do you have a date yet?" he asked.

I shook my head. Why was everyone asking me that? I found myself trying not to care.

"What? Someone as sweet and beautiful as you?" He pulled a face of mock disbelief, as I felt myself blush.

_Sweet and beautiful? _Did I just imagine that?

"Seriously, I know heaps of guys who'd like to go with you. I'll ask around." Logan added, pulling his book toward himself.

Oh god, nothing was worse than this.

"No, please don't. It's okay. Really. Anyway, so any ideas?" I added quickly, hoping to change the subject.

We talked for the next few minutes about some of Logan's ideas. Thankfully he didn't ask about mine.

"I really like Marie and Pierre Curie. They did a lot, you know? Didn't end so well though!" I added.

He smiled, and I smiled back.

"You have a nice smile, you know that?"

_WHAT!_

I swatted him on the arm. "Stop it!"

He smiled again. What was going on here? Anything? Nothing? I felt very confused.

"So yes, I like them." He added. "Shall we do more research, and meet up again?"

My head was still swimming from what he had said. I barely heard his last question.

"Okay, how's Tuesday?" I asked, trying to cover up how flustered I was.

We agreed upon a time to meet, and I walked him out to his car.

"See you tomorrow morning in History?" he asked.

"Yep." I added.

"Save me a seat near you, okay Stace?" he asked. "We might get some time to work on the assignment." He added as he got into his car.

Surprised but pleased, I nodded.

And practically floated inside.


	7. Secret's out!

Secret's Out

I know it was stupid. I know it was wrong, and so childish. But I could not wipe the dreamy smile off my face all day.

It was Friday lunch, finally, and I had kept my dreamy smile all day. History class only added to it, when Logan winked at me.

I was beginning to feel so guilty, however, every time I saw Mary Anne. I passed her in the hall on the way to lunch, and my smile fell, my stomach felt heavy, and I could feel something building up in my throat, making it hard for me to talk. I hadn't done anything wrong! I wouldn't either. As much as I liked Logan, and I was beginning to think that was a lot, I would never hurt Mary Anne.

Claud noticed my goofy smile at lunch, which had replaced my burdening guilt when I saw Logan again. She tried to get me to tell her what was up, but my lips were sealed.

We had all planned to go out together this evening, Emily, Shannon, Pete, Logan, Mary Anne, Claud and myself. Shannon had also asked out Zack Wright, having worked up the courage. We had decided on dinner and a movie, when Alan Gray approached the table.

"Hey guys! Got plans for tonight? Cancel them, my parents have been called out of town for some family emergency, and I'm having a party!"

Claud and I grinned at each other. If there was anything we liked better than a party, especially one of Alan's parties (as annoying as he may be), we hadn't discovered it yet.

Everyone seemed set on going except Shannon, who I guess was nervous about Zack. She finally agreed, and we arranged transport. Claud, Pete and I were going with Emily; Shannon, Mary Anne and Zack with Logan.

Claud finally cornered me in the parking lot after school. We had decided to get ready together, but that wasn't what she had on her mind.

"Spill. Stacey I mean it." She added when I gave her most innocent look I could muster.

I refused to answer, as we got in my car and headed to my place.

"Fine. I'm only your best friend. Who has helped you with every single crisis you've ever had, including when you considered re-perming your hair again. But that's fine." She crossed her arms, and pretended to pout.

I pulled up in my driveway, and turned off the engine.

"Okay. Okay. You really want to know? Then you have to swear, and I mean SWEAR, you won't tell a soul." I said seriously.

Claud hooked pinkies with me.

"Claudia, this is serious. I feel so guilty. I feel like the worst person on Earth! But I can't help it." I looked down at my hands, trying to avoid Claudia, but I could feel her looking at me, so I looked up.

Claud looked at me quizzically.

"What can be this bad?" She asked, intrigued.

I cleared my throat.

"Logan." I whispered.

Claud's look of incredulity intensified.

"Logan? What does that mean?" She asked.

I managed to spit it out. The three most awful words I had ever muttered.

"I like Logan" I looked away as soon as I said it, waiting for Claud to yell at me, even kick me out of my car.

We sat there, as Claud tried to comprehend.

"Logan Bruno? Mary Anne's Logan? Wow, I… Wow."

I nodded.

"I know! I know." I hung my head in shame.

"How much do you like him? I mean, he's pretty cute, but, you know. He's Logan" she added, in a tone she would have used to point out something as boring as a toothbrush.

"_Pretty cute?_ He's hot. I mean… his light blue eyes, his sexy blonde hair, his gorgeous body…" I trailed off dreamily.

Claud sighed.

"You've got it bad." She added with the finality of a doctor diagnosing an incurable disease (I should know!)

I winced. "I know. But what do I do now?" I asked helplessly.

Claud turned to look at me.

"There's only one thing you can do. If it were anyone else…" She raised an eyebrow.

"But it's Mary Anne's Logan. So you have to get over it."


	8. Party!

Party!

What to wear, what to wear! So many choices… Last month I had gone on a HUGE shopping spree in New York, and blown all my savings. So naturally, I had nothing to wear.

I glanced at the clock as I straightened my hair. Super straight was the look I was aiming for, and 15 minutes later, finally achieved. Foundation, blush, eyeliner, mascara, eye shadow and lipstick… Done.

Now back to what to wear! A white skirt, red halter that showed off _just_ a little, big black belt, black heels and a black grab bag was my final decision.

However, now Emily was coming for Claud and myself in 5 minutes, and I just had enough time to take my shot.

"Claud! Are you ready yet?" I yelled out, and Claud appeared in the kitchen doorway.

"Yep. Wow Stace, you look pretty good. Especially for a party of Alan's. Any reason? I sure hope not." She said, underlying meaning in her words.

"No reason. Wow Claud, you look great! Pete's not going to know what hit him!" I added, trying to distract her from me.

She did too. A white strapless dress, dangly silver earrings and hair flowing in deliberate curls, she looked quite elegant.

Claud raised an eyebrow. The she smiled.

"Let's hope so!"

We heard a car beep outside, and looked at each other.

"Emily!" we squealed as we raced outside.

Pete was already in the car, and his jaw practically hit the floor when Claud got in next to him. I sat up front with Emily, and we were off. I was trying to convince Emily to join the dance committee, but she was pretty stubborn. Before long, we were at Alan's, and I noticed Logan's car as we pulled up. They were here already. I could feel the butterflies in my stomach, which I promptly tried to rid myself of. It didn't work.

Inside, the place was a loud, cluttered mess. People were everywhere, and so was food and empty beer cans.

"Wow, I didn't realise this many people were coming." I whispered to Emily, who shot me a look that plainly said, _Alan_.

"Hey Claud-" I turned back to point out Cathy Winston, who was wearing a very skimpy top, only to find Claud not there. I looked at Emily, who shrugged and smiled.

"Her and Pete are probably off talking or something." She giggled.

Good. At least Emily didn't seem upset. Claud didn't have to worry about hurting a friend over a guy. _And neither do_ _I_, I warned myself. We soon spotted Shannon, Zack, Mary- Anne and Logan.

FYI- Logan looked _good_. He wore a blue polo shirt that simultaneously brightened his eyes, and showed off his muscles. I quickly diverted my eyes however, when Logan caught me staring. I looked back a few seconds later only to see a similar look on his face, staring at me. My face flushed brighter than I thought possible, and those darn butterflies came back full force. I quickly said hi to everyone, and grabbed Emily, dragging her over to where the beverages where.

"What? What's wrong?" She asked concerned.

"Nothing. I was just thirsty, thought you might be too."

She eyed the table and then looked at me.

"But I'm driving, I can't drink. And you aren't supposed to drink too much with your diabetes." She reminded me, not that I could forget.

"Okay, so we'll just talk." I added smiling.

She looked at me regretfully.

"Sorry Stace, but Justin is here tonight, and I was kinda hoping to talk to him. I just saw him, but I'll come back, okay? Why don't you go talk to Mary Anne and Logan?"

I looked across the room, where Mary Anne and Logan now stood by themselves, Shannon and Zack, I assume, having gone off to dance.

"Yeah… sure. Good luck." I smiled at Emily as she giggled nervously, and flattened her hair, before heading off.

Bored, and not wanting to look like a total loser, I poured myself a drink. Vodka is okay, and although I mixed it with a little OJ, I wasn't going to have too much, so the sugar content won't be too high.

I was on my second drink when Logan walked over. He stood next to me for a few minutes, and didn't say anything.

My head was slightly spinning, and I felt so awkward. I poured myself another drink.

"So, where's Mary Anne?" I asked him, after searching for something to say to break the silence.

"Some crisis with Shannon." He answered, fidgeting with a cup on the table.

I stood up straighter and searched the room.

"Oh no! Is it Zack? Is she okay?" Poor Shannon. She liked Zack a lot.

"No, it's okay. He spilt something on her shirt. The poor guy was mortified, and Shannon is upset. It'll be okay though." He smiled, reassuringly.

"Oh." I could think of nothing else to say.

We stood there for a little bit longer, and my stomach was killing me. Just as I was about to make some excuse to walk off, Logan turned to me, and looked at me. His eye's searched mine, as if he was trying to figure something out.

"Stace? Do-" He started, but stopped when he was interrupted by a very happy Claudia, with Pete tagging along behind her.

"Stacey! Where have you been? What's going on?" She asked giving me a look.

I shot daggers at her.

"I'd better go find Mary Anne and Shannon." Logan announced, hopefully oblivious to the looks Claud and I were exchanging.

slipped off, leaving me with an angry Claudia, and a thankfully oblivious Pete.

"What was going on?" She asked again.

"Nothing" I hissed at her, as I grabbed another drink, and walked off. I was fuming. What was he going to say? Was all this my imagination?

I found my way outside, and sat on Alan's stone steps, next to a tall bush. Sipping my drink and wondering about what Logan was going to say, was interrupted when I heard a guy hiss,

"Mary Anne!" in an exasperated voice.

Oh great, Mary Anne and Logan behind the bushes. I started to wobble to my feet, but stopped when I heard Mary Anne speak up.

"No Cary! I can't be out here with you alone! I have a boyfriend!"

_Cary and Mary Anne?_ I really shouldn't be listening to this. I started to get up again, when I heard Cary answer her.

"Yeah, I know okay? Trust me, I know. I have to watch you two at it everyday." He hissed angrily.

Boy could I sympathise with Cary there.

"Cary- "Mary Anne started, but she was interrupted.

"Mary Anne, I know you want to be with me! I know your dad is all that's stopping you. Mary Anne, I still love you. Do you- do you still love me?" He asked, sounding almost afraid to hear the answer.

Heck I'd heard this much…

"Cary it doesn't matter. I'm with Logan, and he's fantastic. That's all that matters." Mary Anne added, sounding close to tears.

I heard someone walk off, soon followed by someone else.

I couldn't believe what I'd just heard… In fact, had I really heard it? My head started to really spin, and I felt so tired. I'd just lie down for a little bit. Just a little bit.


	9. Never again

Never Again!

"Gently! Be careful!" I heard someone hiss.

The words seemed to come from far away, but when I pried open my eyes, they actually came from quite nearby. The world was moving, and it wasn't my imagination. I was being carried.

"What's going on?" I asked groggily, trying to get my bearings.

"Stace? Are you okay?" I heard someone ask gently.

I looked up to see where the concerned voice was coming from, and found myself looking straight into Logan's face. He was carrying, and holding me, rather close. I felt my stomach flutter, which normally is quite a nice, albeit nervous sensation. Not tonight.

"Put me down! Please!" I moaned.

Logan quickly put me down, and I reached over, vomiting into a nearby bush. I felt my hair being pulled back, and someone rub my back.

"It's okay Stace! I knew you'd had too much!"

It was Claud holding my hair, and obviously Claud who'd hissed at Logan.

I felt awful.

I felt disgusting.

And Logan saw it all.

He was rubbing my back, crouched down next to me. I wiped my mouth, and groaned.

Not my best moment.

"Please Logan… Go away…" I rasped.

I heard Claud tell him she could handle me, but didn't feel Logan leave. After a few moments, I felt a lot better. Well enough to stand on my own, and well enough to see Logan hadn't left. Claud handed me some cloth, and I wiped my mouth on it.

"Please… leave…" I managed, grabbing Claud's hand, and pulling her with me.

"Look, it'll be quicker if I drive you both…" Logan said.

I argued and argued, but to no avail. Logan drove Claud and I back to my place, and helped Claud get me inside.

Some small miracle saw that my mother didn't hear me come in. Logan got me to my room, and helped me onto the bed, Claud right behind him.

"Look after her, okay?" He asked Claud, who shot him a look that plainly said, duh.

"I'll call you tomorrow, see how you are, okay Stace?" He said. I didn't reply, and he left soon after.

Claud managed to get me undressed and into some pyjama's.

"Oh my God Claud… I can't believe he saw me like that! What's he going to think of me now? He'll hate me! He'll think I'm disgusting!"

I cried and yelled, so angry at myself, while Claud tried to comfort me and feed me water. Eventually I wore myself out, and fell asleep. Or passed out. Either way, I awoke the next morning feeling like my stomach was filled with saw dust, my mouth tasted disgusting, and my head had split in two.

I couldn't believe the way I'd acted last night. Why had I drunk so much? I never loose control. I tried to remember the last thing I could. Talking to Logan at the drinks table. Going outside. Someone fought… But I agreed with one of them…

Then it hit me, even worse than the morning light had.

Mary Anne and Cary.


	10. Shock

Shock!

"No! I mean, no way!" Claud said loudly.

I shot Claud a tired and annoyed look. She sat on the edge of my bed in her Pj's, gaping at me.

"Well, it's just that, you'd had a lot to drink! You know, you might have heard incorrectly. When Logan found you, he said you were already passed out." She added, unnecessarily, in my opinion.

"Pushing aside your mistrust in my memory, Logan found me? Oh Claud… Things couldn't get any worse…" I muttered, falling back into my pillows.

I soon wished I'd never uttered those words, when my phone rang. Apart from causing my head to thump unpleasantly, the voice on the other end sent me into a panic.

"Stace? How are you?" I heard someone ask anxiously.

Logan.

"Oh, I'm, uh, okay. How are you?" I added in an almost cheery voice.

"Me? Okay, just worried about you. You had a little last night, huh?" He asked amused.

Thanks for the reminder.

"Oh, you know." I gave a short laugh, searching my brain for something to say, and coming up short.

"Well, listen. I was thinking I should come over today. You know, to sort out the final pieces of the assignment. How's eleven?"

Here? _Today? _I glanced at the clock, and then glanced at myself. Nine o'clock and I looked like I'd spent the night before in a gutter. Well, a garden.

"Why don't we make it one? Claud is still here… and… one would be better for me." I added hopeful I could pull something together by that time.

"No problems. I'll see you then?"

We agreed to meet, and I hung up the phone in a panic. I started to rush around, looking for something to wear, when a look from Claud stopped me in my tracks.

"And who was that? Having a visitor Stace?"

Her face was the perfect mask of sarcastic curiosity.

"Just a friend from school… working on an assignment. You know." I tried to act casual, knowing she would see through my act.

Claud frowned, as she stood.

"You aren't going to tell him are you?" she asked me.

I looked at her in disbelief.

"I would never do that to Mary Anne. Plus, I don't want to be the messenger. But I do think he should know, and I do think you should tell him." I told her, hopeful she would, for some reason, agree.

Claud looked at me in shock.

"Why should I tell her? You heard it!"

Although I tried for the next hour, I couldn't convince Claud to tell Mary Anne. I still hadn't resolved what I was going to do about the situation, but I did know I wouldn't utter a word to Logan. I had enough problems seeing him again after last night.

My issues didn't slow down time however. Logan arrived a little before one. I opened the door, knowing I wasn't looking my best, but hoping for passable. Logan didn't seem to notice however, he seemed too distracted to take in much, including my uncomfortableness.

We sat down at the same table as last time, and I opened my books. After a few minutes of Logan's silence, I couldn't take it anymore.

"I'm sorry about last night. Please don't be angry. It doesn't happen much, I swear. I guess I just… didn't want to be there." I added uncomfortably.

Logan's eyes snapped up from the table to meet mine. He seemed slightly taken aback, as if he weren't expecting an apology. His eyes probed mine, as if searching for the answer to an unasked question.

"Why… why didn't you want to be there?" He asked me gently.

His question certainly wasn't what I was expecting, but I kept the unwavering eye contact we held.

"I didn't feel like it. All those couples… so happy. Like you and Mary Anne." I answered.

As soon as I said it, I wished I hadn't. Mentioning her name made him drop his eyes. I felt the heat begin to travel up my neck as I realised I'd revealed too much.

"And uh, Shannon and Zack. Claud and Pete. You know." I added quickly.

I started to flip through my book, keeping my line of sight well and truly on the table.

After a few minutes, I felt his hand on mine. His touch was electric, and sent shivers through my body, but the gesture shocked me so much, I looked up in shock. He was looking at me again, this time more intently. He seemed to be fighting an inner battle, but as soon as my eyes refocussed on his, the battle was over.

He leant over, his hand still on mine, and very slowly pressed his lips to mine. It seemed to take forever, my heart was hammering so loudly, I could have sworn Logan could hear it. He didn't seem to notice however, and all thoughts of anything left my mind as soon as he kissed me.

_Kissed_ me.

It was like nothing I had ever experienced before. His lips were so soft, yet so hot, they felt like they were on fire. He tasted sweet, a little minty, and I savoured it. This was what I had wanted for months. It felt so good, so right, so sweet. Why hadn't we done this sooner?

My stomach turned violently as I remembered why.

Mary Anne.


	11. Author's Note

If anyone is reading this, I have edited and changed the story a bit, so hopefully it reads better. I will add more chapters within the next week! The story id very close to finished… I think :D


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